Burnout: Understanding and Healing

Introduction: What is Burnout?

In today’s fast-paced world, burnout has become a common issue, especially as more people juggle work, family, and personal responsibilities. We often think of burnout as simply feeling tired or stressed, but it’s much more than that. Burnout is a slow, creeping process that affects every aspect of your life. By the time you realise it, you might already be deeply entrenched, questioning how you got here and whether you’ll ever feel like yourself again.

But here’s the good news: burnout is not permanent. With awareness, you can not only heal but also prevent it from returning. I know this because everyday I work with amazing, skilled, passionate and committed human beings who are recognising burnout and on the path to healing and balance. In this blog I want to remind you, or invite you into a deeper understanding of what burnout truly is, how it develops, the common stages you may go through, and most importantly, how to recover from burnout using self-care and mindfulness techniques.

What is Burnout Really?

Burnout is more than just physical exhaustion. It’s a complex state that can affect your emotional, physical, and mental health. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), burnout is defined as a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by prolonged and excessive stress. This kind of stress doesn’t just happen at work; it can occur in any area of your life, from caregiving to household management. Among the clients I work with its a combination of workplace pressure and personal or home responsibilities that can bring us to the brink.

Signs and Symptoms of Burnout

Burnout seeps into your life, affecting everything from your mental well-being to your physical health and relationships. You might notice a loss of motivation or interest in activities that once brought you joy. You may feel increasingly overwhelmed and detached from things you once cared deeply about. Over time, burnout causes feelings of helplessness and cynicism, further deteriorating your emotional health.

Common Symptoms of Burnout Include:

• Chronic fatigue and exhaustion
• Increased irritability and frustration
• Insomnia or difficulty sleeping
• Physical symptoms like headaches or upset tummy
• Emotional detachment from work, family, or hobbies
• Loss of productivity and efficiency

Burnout impacts everyone differently, but it’s crucial to recognise the signs early on to address the issue before it escalates. As you’re reading this you might take a moment now to identify what signs of burnout might look like in your life?

Why Women are More Prone to Burnout

While burnout can happen to anyone, women, in particular, are more vulnerable. This is because women are often socialised to be caretakers and nurturers, constantly balancing multiple roles in their personal and professional lives. Even in today’s world, where gender equality is often championed, many women still feel the pressure to “do it all”—maintain successful careers, take care of their families, and excel in everything they do.

This cultural conditioning puts women at greater risk for burnout. The societal expectation that women should be “superwomen” can lead to the internalisation of an impossible standard, making burnout almost inevitable for many. Many of the women I work with are aware they are carrying too much stress over a long period. They know they need to look after themselves. They tell themselves ‘ I will look after myself, but not right now because I first must …prioritise …input whatever is more important to them in that moment than their own well being. So they knowingly put themselves, their self care, their health, to the back of the line – someday, but not now. It’s not that these women are stupid or somehow foolish. It’s much more complex than this. We are deeply socialised to put ourselves to the back of the line.

Stages of Burnout: Recognising the Warning Signs

Burnout never happens overnight. It develops gradually, often beginning with something as simple as taking on too many responsibilities. To better understand burnout, I want to share here the now commonly recognised 12 distinct stages. These stages, developed by psychologists Herbert Freudenberger and Gail North, help illustrate how burnout can often build over a long period of time.

1. The Compulsion to Prove Yourself

At the start, you may feel energised and eager to prove yourself. You take on more work, push harder, and strive to meet high expectations. This initial enthusiasm, though, can lead to an unhealthy drive for perfectionism.

2. Working Harder and Inability to Switch Off

As your workload increases, you find it difficult to switch off. Work bleeds into your personal life, and you start neglecting relaxation and rest in favour of staying productive. You might even start working late hours, believing that once you “catch up,” you’ll be able to rest—except that time never seems to come.

3. Neglecting Your Needs

Soon, basic self-care becomes less of a priority. You might stop eating properly, skip taking exercise, or forgo spending time with loved ones. You begin to neglect personal needs, further pushing yourself toward exhaustion.

4. Displacement of Conflicts

You start avoiding conflicts and difficult emotions. By pretending that problems don’t exist or brushing them aside, stress builds up. You may feel anxious or on edge, or resentful of others who seem to have an easier time, but don’t have the energy to address it directly.

5. Revision of Values

Your values start shifting. Where you once prioritised your family, hobbies, or well-being, now all your focus is on work or responsibilities. You may rationalise your choices, telling yourself that you’ll return to those things when “things calm down,” but that moment never seems to come.

6. Denial of Emerging Problems

At this stage, you may begin denying that anything is wrong. You attribute your exhaustion to external factors—your workload, time pressure, or demands from others. Instead of addressing your feelings, you continue pushing forward, ignoring the growing signs of burnout.

7. Withdrawal from Social Life

Here, burnout often leads to withdrawal. You might avoid social interactions because you no longer have the energy for them. Isolating yourself becomes easier than explaining how exhausted or burnt out you feel.

8. Odd Behavioural Changes

By this point, you start experiencing more noticeable changes. You might become irritable, forgetful, or disengaged from activities you once enjoyed. Others around you might begin noticing these changes, but addressing them feels overwhelming.

9. Depersonalisation

Burnout progresses to a stage where you feel disconnected from your own identity. You’re just going through the motions, doing what’s necessary to get by, but you no longer find joy or satisfaction in your work or personal life.

10. Inner Emptiness

At this stage, an overwhelming sense of emptiness sets in. You feel hollow, as if nothing truly matters. You might turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as binge-watching TV, overeating, or numbing behaviours like alcohol or substance use.

11. Depression

If burnout is left unchecked, it can lead to full-blown depression. You may feel hopeless, worthless, or deeply despondent. This stage requires professional intervention to begin recovery.

12. Burnout Syndrome

The final stage is complete burnout syndrome, where physical and emotional collapse occurs. You can no longer continue functioning as before, and medical or therapeutic help is essential.

How to Heal from Burnout

The good news is that burnout is reversible. It may take time, but with the right strategies, you can recover and regain balance. Here are some key ways to begin healing from burnout:

1. Acknowledge the Problem

The first step in healing from burnout is recognising that it’s happening. It’s easy to deny that you’re burnt out, especially when our culture glorifies busyness. But by acknowledging the problem, you can start making changes before the burnout deepens.

2. Prioritise Rest and Self-Care

Burnout stems from an imbalance between what you’re giving and what you’re receiving. To heal, you need to prioritise rest and self-care. This could mean taking time off, creating space for relaxation, or re-engaging in activities that bring you joy. Rest is essential for emotional, mental, and physical recovery.

3. Reconnect with Your Values

Burnout pulls you away from your core values. Take time to reflect on what’s important to you. Whether it’s family, hobbies, or creative projects, find ways to realign your life with those values. Start small if needed, but prioritise the things that give you fulfilment and meaning.

4. Set Boundaries

A significant factor in burnout is the lack of boundaries—whether that’s at work, with family, or even with yourself. Setting clear boundaries helps prevent burnout from recurring. It could be as simple as not answering emails after work hours or saying “no” to commitments that stretch you too thin.

5. Seek Support

You don’t have to navigate burnout recovery alone. Whether it’s reaching out to a therapist, talking to a trusted friend, or confiding in a family member, seek out support. Burnout can feel isolating, but having a support system can make a big difference in your recovery journey.

6. Practice Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques

Mindfulness is a powerful tool to combat burnout. Mindful meditation, deep breathing exercises, and even spending time in nature can help you reconnect with the present moment. These practices can reduce stress, improve focus, and help you stay grounded in the process of healing.

Preventing Burnout in the Future

While healing from burnout is important, preventing burnout from happening again is equally crucial. Here are a few preventive strategies:

• Regularly assess your workload and commitments.
• Build in time for self-care and relaxation throughout your week.
• Maintain healthy boundaries between work and personal life.
• Practice mindfulness to stay attuned to your stress levels.
• Seek regular feedback on workload from colleagues or managers to prevent overload.

Conclusion: Moving Forward with Self-Compassion

As you begin your journey of healing from burnout, I want you to approach it with one key principle in mind: self-compassion. Burnout can leave you feeling guilty, ashamed, or even like a failure, but none of that is true. Burnout is not a personal failing; it’s a reflection of the unrealistic expectations placed on you by a culture that values productivity over well-being. Be kind to yourself as you navigate this process.

Healing from burnout takes time, and there will be ups and downs along the way. But with each step you take—whether it’s carving out time for rest, seeking support, or simply acknowledging where you are—you’re moving closer to a place of balance, joy, and ease.

To conclude I’d like to share a beautiful poem by Martha Postlethwaite that always reminds me of the importance of creating space in our lives for rest, renewal, and reconnection with ourselves:

Clearing by Martha Postlethwaite

Do not try to save the whole world or do anything grandiose.

Instead, create a clearing in the dense forest of your life and wait there patiently,

until the song that is your life falls into your own cupped hands and you recognise and greet it.

Only then will you know how to give yourself to this world so worthy of rescue.

Wherever you are on your journey, remember: you are worthy of rest, you are worthy of care, and you are worthy of healing. If you’ve recognised yourself anywhere along this burnout path, please take this as an invitation to slow down, breathe, and begin the process of returning to yourself.

You might like to read some more or this blog on how to manage stress through pausing

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